Love People.

I’ve been spending time thinking about people. Sometimes two people are polar opposites and sometimes they’re remarkably identical. Relationship dynamics vary from person to person – it takes effort to get to know someone and even more effort to know them deeply.

While thinking about people, I have a basic and foundational truth that I base all thoughts on:

People are inherently valuable.

My feelings toward any particular person doesn’t change the fact that they have worth. Similarly, any other person’s feelings toward me doesn’t affect my worth. The reality is, relationships can be messy. As broken people, it’s practical to expect us to have broken relationships, right?

I think it’s important what we do with those broken relationships and fellow broken people. God’s response to sin was love, not hatred or condemnation. No, our Creator values us despite how many times we fail. That’s what I’m striving to do in my life – love and honor people regardless of anything else. Because people have value.

“What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail – even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries.”

Matthew 10:29-31 (MSG)

Good. Not safe.

I’m going to be really honest. Life has been incredibly hard these last few months. I feel like every part of me has shaken – friendships, family, work..you name it and there’s been tension. I was talking over some pretty heavy stuff with one of my roommates the other day, and she suggested that I read a chapter out of a book called Spoken For by Robin Jones Gunn and Alyssa Joy Bethke. I’m not much of a reader, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to read one chapter. So I picked up the book and flipped to the dog-eared page that she left for me. It is decidedly well written, with a few nice stories and some solid biblical truths. I felt generally pleasant about the chapter..then I made it to the last two pages, and it kind of wrecked me. In those last pages, Alyssa was remembering a portion of C.S. Lewis’ book, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, when Lucy and Susan asked Mr. & Mrs. Beaver to tell them about Aslan. They found out that he was lion, and asked if he was safe, admitting that they were nervous to meet a lion. Mr. Beaver’s response is still lingering in my mind: “Who said anything about being safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

God isn’t safe. God isn’t safe. God isn’t safe. That simple phrase replayed over and over in my head as I tried to wrap my head around what that meant. To me, and in this stage of my life, it means that choosing to follow God is not safe, comfortable, or predictable. I’m not guaranteed to always be happy and live without hurt or pain. I can’t predict what is coming next in life, and I’m surely not guaranteed to walk this earth without struggle.

But he is good. I know that. I’ve been taught that all my life, and I can probably recite a few cliché scriptures about God’s goodness if asked. Yet, in contrast to God not being safe, the truth of his goodness takes on a whole new meaning. It means that I can always trust that there is something going on beyond the stormy surface. He is using it to make me strong. He is using it to make me holy. He is using it to reveal His grace. He doesn’t allow the storm and then turn His back – He is there with me in the midst of it. 

What has amazed me through these hard times is how steady God is. No matter what’s happening today, no matter which area of life is stressing me at a particular time, I can always turn to Christ and He is there waiting to listen to me, and wanting to speak to me. There’s nothing that can separate me from Him. That’s pretty incredible! God has been reminding me lately that He is my constant. Even if everything in life turns upside down, I can count on Him being in the same place, continuing to love me and comfort me.

See, he’s not safe. But he is good.

He is constant. 

The Lord Will Answer

God taught me a lesson today, and I thought I would share it here.

So I’ve found that I have some of my best prayer times while driving. I am by myself in the car for an hour or more each day as I drive to work, and that’s a perfect time for me to spend with God. Sometimes it gets intense and I wonder what other people think when they see me crying and pounding on my steering wheel while driving down the road. It’s kind of comical. But it’s so good.

This morning I was praying for my family on my way to work. I’ll be honest, I was actually quite distracted and mostly going through the motions in my prayer. I certainly wasn’t looking for an crazy spiritual moment. I prayed for my parents and for my sister. But as I was praying for my brother, God surprised me. He spoke to me about my brother, in exact response to what has been weighing on my heart for the last few months.

This is when the lesson for the day was learned. I shouldn’t have been surprised that God was speaking to me, especially about something that I’ve been praying about for so long. I think it’s too easy to lose faith that God hears our prayers, cares about them, and will answer them in His timing. But he is faithful. He will answer our prayers. I kind of chuckled to myself as I was getting out of the car; after months of praying this particular prayer, God’s timing for His response was a moment when I wasn’t even looking for it.

Through that moment, He taught me to always expect a response. Don’t stop asking if you aren’t hearing the answer; keep asking because God can and will answer.

“Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am'”
Isaiah 58:9

Goodbyes and Embraces

I haven’t blogged in a long time. But I guess that isn’t too surprising. Lately I’ve been on a weird emotional roller coaster in response to blogging..sometimes I have absolutely nothing to say and sometimes I have too many thoughts to put into a logical order. Today I am going to focus on one thought.

First, I’ve realized I don’t do well with goodbyes. While I was ecstatic to leave JC Penney earlier this year, I was also very sad to leave the people I had been friends with for those two and a half years. In March I spent two solid weeks in training with people from all over the country. I was blue when I had to watch them get on their separate planes, most likely never to see them in person again. Then, last week, my cubicle neighbor moved away. He is still with the company but working in a different department. I was in a weird, somber mood that day.

I grew attached to these people in very similar ways. In most cases, they didn’t know a lot about me and I didn’t know a lot about them. But I felt connected. It was hard for me to say goodbye and not know when I would have the chance to see them again (if ever). Some people might think these emotions are useless, especially since most of the people I was sad to lose were simply acquaintances. I tried to rationalize that to myself with no avail. I would much rather stay in contact with someone, however far removed, than the easier choice of forgetting them and moving on.

Then I realized something else about myself. I recognize that one of my top love languages is physical touch. I love hugs, leg taps, high fives, walking arm-in-arm, and especially love when someone plays with my hair. Yet I have a hard time initiating physical touch. In every one of those circumstances when I had to say goodbye, I wanted so badly to give each person a hug of farewell but couldn’t force myself into it. I have seen so many awkward situations where someone initiates a hug and the receiver doesn’t reciprocate. That’s not worth it. But it also sucks when all I want to do is hug someone goodbye and have to walk away with a fist bump or a wimpy verbal send-off.

So, as an FYI, if you’d like, I will always accept a hug. Always.

Friday 3/23

This was written on Friday, I promise. I just never really had the time to post it until now.

Today has been a long day. I took my final exam this morning at work, in which I scored 96 out of 100, making that a total of 98% in the class. I spent a few hours at the training facility until the rest of the people in my car were done and ready to go to the airport. It took me two and a half hours for the test and I had about six hours left until my first flight.

While I was waiting, I went to a chocolate shop down the street from the training facility that I had been thinking about visiting for the last few days. The second I walked in, I was surrounded by the smell of chocolate and I just about melted. The purpose of stopping was to get my mom a gift; she was the only one I hadn’t bought for yet. I ended up spending almost $40 on chocolates. Granted, they were overpriced, but I did end up with much more than originally planned. Hopefully they are good.

A large group of my peers were on the same flight to Atlanta and a few of us were going to Detroit, so we got to hang out for a little bit longer and wait for the flights to leave. I am usually really bad with goodbyes. I get attached to people easily and it makes me sad to think I won’t ever see them again. I especially had that problem when I left JCP, but I didn’t have the same sentiments today. I think I spent too much concentrated time with some of them and was glad to get my own space. Also, I wasn’t too excited about going home until right when I finished the test this morning. My time there had been more like a vacation, but once it was over and I got my score, I instantly didn’t have anything to strive toward (in Rochester, anyway) and began to get very anxious to get back to Portland and in my own house with my own bed. And I did miss my family and friends.

The most exciting part about today was the Detroit airport. It is seriously the coolest airport I have ever been in. The tunnel between the concourses is a light show! They also had some music playing; I felt like I was in one of those laser light shows at OMSI. Very fun. The main concourse looks like a mall with the big open area and lots of shops. Then I saw the tram – it is indoors! Seriously, the Detroit airport is like Disneyland. My connecting flight was delayed so I got to spend quite a bit of time there, which I wasn’t bothered by in the least. I was kind of hoping I might run into Eminem at the airport, but no such luck. I think next time I fly cross-country, I might purposefully stop in Detroit…it’s that cool. Here’s a couple pics to prove it:

I will post the full set of photos on facebook sometime soon. Hopefully tomorrow. But then again, this post is four days late…so no guarantees.

Thursday 3/22

Yesterday our trainer, Nicole, played a game called Tattoo or No Tattoo. Just like it sounds, she went around the room and guessed which of us had tattoos and which didn’t. Mostly she was trying to waste time before we went home early. She actually did a pretty good job (judged me correctly…no tattoo) but didn’t make her goal of 22 out of 29 correct. If she won, we were supposed to buy her a venti double chocolate frappuccino and if we won, we got an hour and a half lunch the next day (today). We won, but I still bought her a frappuccino. After drinking 3/4 of it, which is mostly all sugar, she decided to inform me that she is diabetic. Wow, way to totally set us up. She was funny, though, saying she could just shoot herself up with more insulin. I really like her.

I decided I could be a corporate trainer. I guess that’s kind of what my mom does. No wonder I would like it.

After class today someone suggested we all go outside and take a group picture, since it was the last time we would have the chance before we all leave tomorrow. So we filed outside and started lining up when we realized not everyone was there. Turns out, the group of people that have been rude and annoying this whole trip decided they don’t want to be in our picture. It felt like middle school, no joke. I thought that was so lame of them. Then I started thinking about those type of people and got myself off on a tangent. Maybe someday I’ll think more about it and make it a blog post.

Anyway, the weather was beautiful again today, and I’m sad to leave it tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll get to enjoy it before I go to the airport. I get to start the test at 8:00 am, and I expect it to take about two hours. My flight is not until 5 pm…so I’ll have a little time on my hands. Here’s a pic to prove that we are (still) having awesome sunny weather:

Wednesday 3/21 … Part 2

Right after I finished that last post, I was watching a rerun of Big Bang Theory and the hotel suite went black. This happened two nights ago and the maintenance man came to fix it. Tonight, however, he is not working. A different guy tried to come and fix it but he resolved that there is something wrong with the breaker and could not get the power back on.

The hotel gave Ashley and I new rooms – we each got a one-bed suite. It’s very nice. But I still hope they get the power working for tomorrow night. I definitely don’t want to have to pack all my stuff up twice. And even though Ashley and I didn’t talk much when we were both in the suite, I am still somehow lonelier in this big room all by myself.

I thought this was a worthy enough story for another blog post. And a few pics to prove it:

 
This is what the room looked like when the power went out

The new room. To the left is the kitchen and further back on the left is the bathroom and vanity. Oh, and to the right is the giant flat screen TV and behind is a desk. Awesome.

Wednesday 3/22

Today is Wednesday. I wore pink.

Quiz #2 was this morning and I got all 25 questions right! That means I have 100% so far in the course with the final on Friday. It is completely open-book, so I feel pretty good about my chances of getting a perfect score. I’m very excited.

This was another gorgeous day in Rochester! I believe we got up to 82 degrees!!! It was so hot outside during our lunch hour that we sat in the grass again and I actually had to take off my cardigan. And I got a little bit of a sunburn! Then I heard there has been snow back home the last couple days. Definitely not something I want to go home to…can’t I bring the sun back?

After work tonight we went to check out the local BBQ restaurant that we tried (and failed) to go to last Friday. I have been craving ribs since that night so I was glad to finally get some! They were delicious, fall-off-the-bone ribs with BBQ beans, macaroni salad (good, but nowhere near as amazing as Angie’s), and the most scrumptious cornbread I have ever eaten. The place was fun.

The most interesting news, however, is that I am still an amazing parallel parker. None of the other people in my van are comfortable with city driving, so I took the driver’s seat from work to the restaurant.  It’s downtown, so there wasn’t much parking. While everyone else was trying to convince me to park in a garage or lot, I scouted out a spot along the street. Then I pulled perfectly into the spot in a minivan. This was my most proud parking moment. I had to document it. Here’s the pic to prove it:

Tuesday 3/20

I feel like I’m just rambling now. Nothing too exciting is happening, so I am sort of grasping for topics.

Today, I would like to write about how incredibly awesome the weather is. I know it’s been raining (and even snowing) at home and that makes this all the better. It has been sunny and gorgeous almost the whole time I’ve been in New York, which the locals say is very unlike typical March weather. Today I went outside during my lunch hour and took in all the Vitamin D I could possibly contain.

My weather app said it was 72 degrees, but it felt much warmer in the sunshine. I even laid down in the grass and watched the clouds pass by! It was incredible. Note to self: don’t have too much fun on your lunch break. It is really, really, really hard to go back inside and do work. I have two pictures today, because I really need everyone to believe me (and maybe be a little jealous). Here’s the pics to prove it:

Monday 3/19

Today began week two and our first day with the other corporate trainer, Nicole. She is awesome and hilarious. They also switched up our assigned seating, so I am no longer in the front row! The ironic thing is, though, I’m now sitting next to the girl who is struggling the most out of all 29 of us trainees.

We aren’t really sure what goes on in her head a lot of times, she seems to forget that she needs to pay attention. There was one point this afternoon when we were supposed to be doing an activity in pairs and she just walked out to go to the restroom. So I waited for her to return, because I didn’t want to leave her in the dust. But when she came back, she slowly put on lip gloss and then began asking me about my time in Portland before flying out to Rochester. It was the weirdest thing…like she was completely uninterested in our task. This could be an interesting week.

On the way home from class we stopped to get gas. I know it’s weird, but I like pumping gas. It was the first (and probably only) time I have pumped gas in New York!! The picture is a little weird because it was a busy gas station and I was the weirdo taking a picture of myself pumping gas. But anyway, here’s the pic to prove it: