Remember in December

I’ve only ever lost one friend in my life. At least, there’s only ever been one time when someone made the distinct choice to discontinue a friendship with me.

 

Over the last few years (since our friendship ended), I’ve had plenty of opportunities to reminisce. Usually those times of reflection ended in feelings of frustration or sadness. Eventually I got tired of constantly being so influenced by someone I was so disconnected from, so this year I began praying for help. I didn’t think I was holding a grudge, but I knew something wasn’t right.

I’ve discovered a few things:

1. The heart can take a long time to heal.

2. God cares about me enough to listen to my selfish prayers.

3. Even so, he desires to see my selfishness turn to selflessness.

4. Focusing on past hardship distracts from present blessings.

 

Sometimes I still get sad when I think about how such a close friend became a stranger. But I think that’s okay.

Messed Up

Ah, so my once-a-month blogging fell to pieces in November. I kept wanting a new post but just wasn’t able to put the right words or feelings together. Isn’t that just so frustrating?

I got my Starbucks birthday drink postcard in the mail today. That must mean I’m about to get older! I wonder when the point will come that I start dreading my birthday. Maybe it’s at 30. Luckily, I have six more birthdays until that point. I should make the most of those.

I’ve gotten into this horrible habit lately of staying up late at night when I have to work early the next morning. Typically I’ll get five hours of sleep, which is nowhere near enough. Then, on my days off, I sleep excessively. For example, I decided to take a nap Friday afternoon and laid down around 3:15pm. I set an alarm for 5:30 and slept right through it (I have become a master at turning off alarms in my sleep). I woke up at 1:00am. Nearly ten hours later! I was wide awake and certainly refreshed. But I didn’t have any reason to be up so I decided to just get a few more hours and return to a normal schedule. It took an hour to fall back asleep and I got five more hours of shut-eye. That’s fifteen hours total. In one afternoon/night. Insane.

Then I slept four hours the following night (Saturday) and took a six hour nap Sunday afternoon. Something is wrong with this.

It’s safe to say I’m pretty messed up, at least in the sleep department. Perhaps this is my new obsession. That, and tater tots. Seriously in love.